Unlovable (#1), Unlucky (#2),
Unhoppy (#3), &
Dysfunctional (Trilogy)
By: Cynthia St. Aubin
Paranormal
Romance/Humor/Contemporary/Mystery
*SPECIAL NOTE: The
first novella UNLOVABLE will be FREE to download September 12th
- September 16th*
SYNOPSIS’S
It isn’t every day a sexy demigod throws a pissed-off Cupid
onto psychologist Matilda Schmidt’s couch and informs her the fate of the world
depends on her ability to get him off his diapered ass and back to helping
people fall in love.
Just when Matilda convinces herself she’s not hallucinating, in walks a Vegas hit man with a big gun and a bigger threat: pay back the million dollars she owes a notorious casino mogul, or wind up as fish food in Lake Mead.
Rocketing across country with a gun to her head, Matilda has a dysfunctional love-god in her laptop bag, a million dollar debt she has no knowledge of, and must convince the seductive hit man he’s snatched the wrong woman before he convinces her he might be the right man—for a night.
Can Matilda stay alive long enough to keep love from becoming history?
Just when Matilda convinces herself she’s not hallucinating, in walks a Vegas hit man with a big gun and a bigger threat: pay back the million dollars she owes a notorious casino mogul, or wind up as fish food in Lake Mead.
Rocketing across country with a gun to her head, Matilda has a dysfunctional love-god in her laptop bag, a million dollar debt she has no knowledge of, and must convince the seductive hit man he’s snatched the wrong woman before he convinces her he might be the right man—for a night.
Can Matilda stay alive long enough to keep love from becoming history?
Unlucky (#2)
Accused of stealing gold from an infamous Irish street gang,
Paranormal Psychologist Matilda Schmidt will die in exactly five days if she
doesn’t cough it up—guilty or not. With minutes ticking away and her office
overrun by a leprechaun who's loopier than he is lucky, Matilda makes a deal
with a demigod—give him one night in her bed and he’ll help her locate the
missing gold.
But when Matilda’s recent one-night stand shows up with inside information about the heist she’s being framed for, she finds herself caught between a hit man and a demigod both offering to protect her—if they don’t kill each other first.
If Matilda’s luck doesn’t change soon, death might be the only thing waiting for her at the end of the rainbow
But when Matilda’s recent one-night stand shows up with inside information about the heist she’s being framed for, she finds herself caught between a hit man and a demigod both offering to protect her—if they don’t kill each other first.
If Matilda’s luck doesn’t change soon, death might be the only thing waiting for her at the end of the rainbow
When there's not a hop in hell...
The day is going to hell in a hurry for Paranormal Psychologist Matilda Schmidt, and that's *before* a suicidal Easter bunny shows up for treatment.
When pictures surface of Matilda caught in the middle of a hit man-Cupid sandwich, she lands in the oily grip of a ruthless blackmailer, whose motives are as ugly as his mustache. Now Matilda must betray the trust of someone who cares for her to meet the blackmailer's demands, or she can kiss her reputation, her practice, and even her freedom goodbye. But blackmail is only the beginning when the immortal mystery-client brought to her couch by a seductive demigod causes Matilda to fling caution—along with her panties—to the wind.
Hunted by two jealous goddesses who would gladly use her intestines to lace up their strappy sandals—and with her full-time hit man sometimes lover nowhere to be found—Matilda will have to save herself, or the world will be up River Styx without a paddle
The day is going to hell in a hurry for Paranormal Psychologist Matilda Schmidt, and that's *before* a suicidal Easter bunny shows up for treatment.
When pictures surface of Matilda caught in the middle of a hit man-Cupid sandwich, she lands in the oily grip of a ruthless blackmailer, whose motives are as ugly as his mustache. Now Matilda must betray the trust of someone who cares for her to meet the blackmailer's demands, or she can kiss her reputation, her practice, and even her freedom goodbye. But blackmail is only the beginning when the immortal mystery-client brought to her couch by a seductive demigod causes Matilda to fling caution—along with her panties—to the wind.
Hunted by two jealous goddesses who would gladly use her intestines to lace up their strappy sandals—and with her full-time hit man sometimes lover nowhere to be found—Matilda will have to save herself, or the world will be up River Styx without a paddle
Dysfunctional
(Trilogy of all 3 Novellas)
Unlovable
- Book #1
When Cupid gets stupid…
It isn’t every day a sexy demigod throws a pissed-off Cupid onto psychologist Matilda Schmidt’s couch and informs her the fate of the world depends on her ability to get him off his diapered ass and back to helping people fall in love. But first, she’ll need to convince a seductive hit man he’s snatched the wrong woman before he convinces her he might be the right man—for a night.
Unlucky - Book #2
When luck runs out…
Accused of stealing gold from an infamous Irish street gang, Paranormal Psychologist Matilda Schmidt will die in exactly five days if she doesn’t cough it up—guilty or not. With minutes ticking away and her office overrun by a leprechaun who's loopier than he is lucky, Matilda makes a deal with a demigod—give him one night in her bed and he’ll help her locate the missing gold.
Unhoppy - Book #3
When there’s not a hop in hell…
The day is going to hell in a hurry for Paranormal Psychologist Matilda Schmidt, and that's *before* a suicidal Easter bunny shows up for treatment. Hunted by two jealous goddesses who would gladly use her intestines to lace up their strappy sandals—and with her full-time hit man sometimes lover nowhere to be found—Matilda will have to save herself, or the world will be up River Styx without a paddle.
When Cupid gets stupid…
It isn’t every day a sexy demigod throws a pissed-off Cupid onto psychologist Matilda Schmidt’s couch and informs her the fate of the world depends on her ability to get him off his diapered ass and back to helping people fall in love. But first, she’ll need to convince a seductive hit man he’s snatched the wrong woman before he convinces her he might be the right man—for a night.
Unlucky - Book #2
When luck runs out…
Accused of stealing gold from an infamous Irish street gang, Paranormal Psychologist Matilda Schmidt will die in exactly five days if she doesn’t cough it up—guilty or not. With minutes ticking away and her office overrun by a leprechaun who's loopier than he is lucky, Matilda makes a deal with a demigod—give him one night in her bed and he’ll help her locate the missing gold.
Unhoppy - Book #3
When there’s not a hop in hell…
The day is going to hell in a hurry for Paranormal Psychologist Matilda Schmidt, and that's *before* a suicidal Easter bunny shows up for treatment. Hunted by two jealous goddesses who would gladly use her intestines to lace up their strappy sandals—and with her full-time hit man sometimes lover nowhere to be found—Matilda will have to save herself, or the world will be up River Styx without a paddle.
BOOK LINKS
Unlovable(#1)
(FREE TO DOWNLOAD SEPTEMBER 12th – 16th)
Unlucky(#2)
Unhoppy (#3)
Dysfunctional
(Trilogy)
EXCERPTS FROM
UNLOVABLE (#1)
Excerpt #1:
Liam’s hands
clenched into fists at his sides. “And I would like to take this opportunity to
tell Cupid to put down the cigar before I shove my foot so far up his ass he’ll
be coughing up diaper fluff.”
Ice crystalized
in Cupid’s blue eyes. “It’s a loincloth.”
“Now, Cupid,” I
interrupted, “what Liam means is he would appreciate it if—”
“Last time I
checked,” Liam said, casting a meaningful glance down at his towel, and
affording me the opportunity to do the same, “loin cloths were for covering
dicks. Not wee-wees.”
Excerpt #2:
Seeing the expression on Crixus’s
face, I remembered where I’d first encountered his name: Roman history. Could
he be the same gladiator I had read about so long ago? “Shoot me, and you’ll get to watch as I carry her away while
you writhe in agony and pray you’ll bleed out before the shock wears off and
you understand how it feels to have every bone in your body crushed into
gravel.”
It was then I noticed that Crixus
and Liam were precisely the same height. That is to say, about six
foot-I-can-rest-my-cheek-on-your-pectoral.
I gave them each two notches in the
Made Me Come column on the secret notepad in my head. A relatively new addition
to my ledger.
Excerpt #3:
Liam leapt, crushing me beneath him
as we fell onto the bed. Cupid ducked, using my body as a shield.
“Hey,” I shouted. “I’m not part of
this.”
“Come here, you mouthy little shit,”
Liam growled next to my ear, grabbing for Cupid’s wings.
“Fuck you!” a voice squeaked behind
my back.
“Boys! Stop this!” I was a battlefield of
sensations— Liam writhing on top of me to get at the creature digging his bony
knees into my spine. Unable to decide if arousal was an acceptable response to
the situation, my mind yielded control to my body, hungry for the information
traveling up my nerve endings in electric pulses.
Excerpt #4:
“Your life is not over. But the
world might be, if you can’t get him sorted out.” Crixus said, jerking his chin
toward Cupid.
“Me?” I asked. “What the hell am I
going to do? I’ve hallucinated a demigod and some creepy winged kid into my
office.”
“Creepy winged kid?” Cupid repeated.
Crixus rested a steadying hand on
the curly blond head. “Cupid, don’t—” But he was too late.
Wings beating in a feathery frenzy,
Cupid launched himself at me. “Oh my God it flies,” I screamed, hurling the
pillow at him and missing.
AUTHOR INFO:
Cynthia
St. Aubin wrote her first play at age eight and made her brothers perform it
for the admission price of gum wrappers. A steal, considering she provided the
wrappers in advance. Though her early work debuted to mixed reviews, she never
quite gave up on the writing thing, even while earning a mostly useless
master's degree in art history and taking her turn as a cube monkey in the
corporate warren.
Because
the voices in her head kept talking to her, and they discourage drinking at
work, she started writing instead. When she's not standing in front of the
fridge eating cheese, she's hard at work figuring out which mythological, art
historical, or paranormal friends to play with next. She lives in Colorado with
the love of her life and three surly cats.
AUTHOR LINKS:
Find
out more about Cynthia St. Aubin on her website.
Follow
me: https://twitter.com/CynthiaStAubin
Visit
me: http://www.cynthiastaubin.com/
Email
me: cynthiastaubin@gmail.com
Giveaway:
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