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Showing posts with label Mimi Jean Pamfiloff. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mimi Jean Pamfiloff. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 3, 2020

The Librarian's Vampire Assistant by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff: Giveaway

The Librarian’s Vampire Assistant
Mimi Jean Pamfiloff
(The Librarian’s Vampire Assistant, #5)
Publication date: October 31st 2020
Genres: Adult, Mystery, Romance

From New York Times Bestseller Mimi Jean Pamfiloff comes the FINAL vampire-mystery-slash-romance-slash-adventure about a librarian and her trusty vampire assistant, The Librarian’s Vampire Assistant, Book 5.

(Yes, yes. Still a standalone. Yippy! You don’t have to go back and read all four books. But don’t ya kinda wanna?)

NEVER HIRE A HANDSOME VAMPIRE!

MIRIAM MURPHY loves being a librarian. It’s all she’s ever wanted—to eat, breathe, and sleep books. But when she hired Michael, a handsome college student, she had no idea he was a four-hundred-year-old vampire and that inviting him into her life would result in her becoming one too. But not before he knocked her up and broke her heart.

Now Miriam is a single mother, all alone in a new world with a new vampire body. And someone’s trying to kill her. Who? Why? She has no real enemies.

If only Michael would help. After all, he’s the vampire king now. And this is one mystery she can’t solve on her own.

NEVER FALL FOR A LIBRARIAN!

MICHAEL VANDERHORST knows he’s changed. He can no longer love or laugh or enjoy hot peppers like he used to. But being an unfeeling, ruthless vampire is what it takes to rule the deadliest bloodsuckers on the planet. It’s the only way to keep humankind safe.

Problem is, his enemies know the librarian and his daughter are special to him. They are his to protect, even if he’s incapable of feeling love.

But when danger comes knocking at Miriam’s library door, he must choose between solving the biggest mystery of his existence and the woman he swore to protect.

What’s a vampire king to do?

Goodreads / Amazon / Barnes & Noble / iBooks / Kobo


Excerpt



My parents started this library and filled it with millions of dollars of books. Three floors. Open in the middle—same as our house—overlooking the main floor. When I wasn’t in school or training to be a Keeper, I was here, losing myself in books. I think I always knew I wanted to be a librarian, but it just took a while to work up the courage to tell my family. Of course, when I did, they acted like I’d told them I wanted to be a porn star or bank robber.

To this day, I don’t regret my choice, but I do regret how my parents were murdered before I could convince them that choosing another path in life didn’t mean I hated them. They died thinking the worst of me, and for that, I don’t think I’ll ever feel closure.

I pull into the parking lot to the side of my library and immediately go for my crossbow. The big one this time. Bertha.

There are four black SUVs in the lot and two parked out front on the busy street at the meters. I know it isn’t Nice, which is why I grab the chocolate-tipped arrow. I make them myself with pure cocoa powder and a flour paste so the tip hardens just enough to penetrate the skin. Vampire skin.

Chocolate is a narcotic for us. Give us enough, and it’ll kill, whereas a small dose has the same effect as alcohol. I’ve yet to sample any since being turned because I’ve been alone with Stella and must be on my guard. Mommy can’t get a chocolate chip cookie buzz until she finds a ninja sitter.

I take my crossbow and exit my Hummer. I might be a librarian, but when it comes to defending my child, I’m a one-woman army. Ready to kick fangs or asses. The ill-fitting, disheveled clothes I wear—below-the-knee skirts, moth-eaten sweaters, and granny glasses—are merely a disguise. Today I have on a wrinkled white blouse, plain tan pants, and a black cardigan that’s all stretched out. People see me and think I couldn’t harm a fly or fight my way out of a paper bag. All part of my Keeper upbringing. Unfortunately, my natural clumsiness is genuine, and so is my lack of love for violence. I can fight, and fight well. It’s just not something that comes naturally or that I enjoy. Even when I was Nice’s prisoner, fear always held me back. And he knew just how to use it to keep me tethered to his side, reading bad poetry, helping him shop online for ruffled shirts, telling him how much I admired his wiry body and long black locks.

The man is a monster.

At least I wasn’t mistreated sexually. Mr. Nice has a rule about not sleeping with humans (apparently they’re too fragile for his bedroom games), but he kept Stella from me. Those are years lost with my daughter, and I’ll never get them back. For that, he’ll pay.

How?

I’m not sure yet, but it’s coming. His day of reckoning for separating me from Michael and then my child, for driving Michael to become a cold-hearted vampire, and for turning me is coming. I love to read, and I’ve always believed a story is only as good as the bad guy. But in real life? The only good bad guy is a dead bad guy. This librarian is coming for you, Nice.

Now for this guy!

Bertha in hand, I pull on the front door of my library. My eyes meet his, and my heart starts hammering against my rib cage, like it’s calling out to him in longing. The sensation jars me and, in some way, shames me. I know he can hear it. Just like I can hear the lack of beating inside his chest. He couldn’t care less about seeing me. He feels nothing.

“What do you want, Michael?” I growl, keeping my weapon pointed at the ground. I know his guards are all around us, waiting to pounce.

“What do I want?” He points to his broad chest, and I try not to notice how good his tall, lean, muscular frame looks in his tailored black suit. Michael Vanderhorst was born over four hundred years ago, but if you saw him walking down the street today, you’d wonder where the Armani shoot was. And I’m not talking runway. I’m talking Christmastime cologne commercial. You know, the ripped, oiled-down guy with deep olive skin in a tight white Speedo, diving into a pristine turquoise ocean. Yeah. That Armani.

Despite being a vampire, Michael is everything hard and male and seductive, with a face that never ages. One look into those dark eyes, and you’re lost forever.

“Yes,” I repeat, “what do you want?”

“You summoned me,” he says in that deep, authoritative voice that doesn’t fit his youthful appearance. It was the one thing that first tipped me off about him not being human. No twenty-year-old I’ve ever met has a voice that can make my toes tingle.

I raise my crossbow and point it at his groin.

“What are you doing?” he growls with those sexy lips.

“I know you have at least a dozen guards surrounding me. Consider it my insurance.”

Michael unfolds his arms. “Mir-librarian-woman, you sent five of my men home in a shoebox. I hardly think you are the one at risk.”

I frown. “What are you talking about?” And why is he calling me Mir-librarian-woman?

His dark eyes narrow in puzzlement. “Please tell me it was you who summoned me.”

I blink, catching on to the situation.

Someone pretending to be me asked him to come here.

I hear a click somewhere in the room. Oh crap!

Before I can scream “run,” Michael charges faster than my new vampire eyes can register.




Author Bio

MIMI JEAN PAMFILOFF is a New York Times bestselling author who’s sold over one million books around the world. Although she obtained her MBA and worked for more than fifteen years in the corporate world, she believes that it’s never too late to come out of the romance closet and follow your dreams.

Mimi lives with her Latin lover hubby, two pirates-in-training (their boys), and their three spunky dragons (really, just very tiny dogs with big attitudes) Snowy, Mini, and Mack, in the vampire-unfriendly state of Arizona.

She hopes to make you laugh when you need it most and continues to pray daily that leather pants will make a big comeback for men.

Website / Goodreads / Facebook / Twitter / Instagram


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Tuesday, October 13, 2020

Fanged Love by Kylie Gilmore & Mimi Jean Pamfiloff: Giveaway

FANGED LOVE

From USA Today bestselling authors, Mimi Jean Pamfiloff and Kylie Gilmore, comes a hilarious, sexy, Vampire Romance about the girl next door and an ancient prince who’s lost when it comes to modern women.

✦ Amazon US: https://bit.ly/3jLa6lI
✦ Apple Books: https://apple.co/336STMD


 

  Blurb WANTED: MODERN WOMAN WHO APPRECIATES TRADITIONAL COURTSHIP WITH FANGS. Greetings. My name is Prince Bozhidar, and I am an eight-hundred-year-old vampire. Correction. I am an eight-hundred-year-old, virile, confident, and very sexy vampire—so I’m told. I have wealth, looks, and everything an immortal man could ever want. Well, except love. But no matter. I am not a one-neck sort of man. Yet the virginal woman across the road sets my senses afire. And she needs my help with her family’s failing winery. My own is quite successful. My honor demands I help this enchanting female, and when I do, my heart begins beating anew. She is my mate. Strangely, my gifts of seduction do not seem to work on her. Perhaps I need to fit in with modern dating customs to win this modern woman. And then there’s the small matter that she doesn’t believe in vampires. There is no fighting destiny, sweet Stella. You will be mine.

 


About Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

MIMI JEAN PAMFILOFF is a New York Times bestselling author who’s sold over one million books around the world. Although she obtained her MBA and worked for more than fifteen years in the corporate world, she believes that it’s never too late to come out of the romance closet and follow your dreams.

Mimi lives with her Latin lover hubby, two pirates-in-training (their boys), and their three spunky dragons (really, just very tiny dogs with big attitudes) Snowy, Mini, and Mack, in the vampire-unfriendly state of Arizona.

She hopes to make you laugh when you need it most and continues to pray daily that leather pants will make a big comeback for men.

Sign up for Mimi's Newsletter and get a FREE book!

https://bit.ly/35BixME

For more fun stuff check out Mimi’s website

www.mimijean.net

twitter.com/MimiJeanRomance

pinterest.com/mimijeanromance

instagram.com/mimijeanpamfiloff

facebook.com/MimiJeanPamfiloff

About Kylie Gilmore

Kylie Gilmore is the USA Today bestselling author of the Rourkes series, the Happy Endings Book Club series, the Clover Park series, and the Clover Park STUDS series. She writes humorous romance that makes you laugh, cry, and reach for a cold glass of water.

Kylie lives in New York with her family, two cats, and a nutso dog. When she’s not writing, reading hot romance, or dutifully taking notes at writing conferences, you can find her flexing her muscles all the way to the high cabinet for her secret chocolate stash.

Sign up for Kylie’s Newsletter and get a FREE book! kyliegilmore.com/newsletter

For more fun stuff check out Kylie’s website

https://www.kyliegilmore.com

https://www.bookbub.com/authors/kylie-gilmore facebook.com/KylieGilmoreToo instagram.com/kyliegilmore



Fanged Love by Kylie Gilmore and Mimi Jean Pamfiloff Review

Fanged LoveFanged Love by Kylie Gilmore
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Kylie Gilmore and Mimi Jean Pamfiloff had me laughing out loud with FANGED LOVE. Eight-hundred-year-old vampire Prince Bozhidar needs to adjust to the times to win over his mate, Stella Baker. He tries to gain her favor by attempting to help her family save their vineyard. This contemporary PNR is suitable for adult readers.

FANGED LOVE was quite hilarious. It reminded me of the television show/movie WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS. Prince Bozhidar just woke up after being asleep for Five hundred years. To say that he is a bit out of touch with the times is an understatement, often taking modern slang literally.

The story has a great plot with humorous exploits. The characters are likable. If you want to laugh out loud and enjoy vampire paranormal romances, I recommend reading this book. Kylie Gilmore and Mimi Jean Pamfiloff make a fabulous writing duo. I voluntarily reviewed an advance reader copy of this book.

ebook, 300 pages
Published October 1st 2020 by Paper & Silver, Inc.
ISBN: 131230004168348
Edition Language:English

View all my reviews

Tuesday, September 22, 2020

Fanged Love by Kylie Gilmore & Mimi Jean Pamfiloff Cover Reveal

FANGED LOVE by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff & Kylie Gilmore Release Date: October 13th Add to Goodreads: https://bit.ly/2R7nRie


Blurb From USA Today bestselling authors, Mimi Jean Pamfiloff and Kylie Gilmore, comes a hilarious, sexy, Vampire Romance about the girl next door and an ancient prince who’s lost when it comes to modern women. WANTED: MODERN WOMAN WHO APPRECIATES TRADITIONAL COURTSHIP WITH FANGS. Greetings. My name is Prince Bozhidar, and I am an eight-hundred-year-old vampire. Correction. I am an eight-hundred-year-old, virile, confident, and very sexy vampire—so I’m told. I have wealth, looks, and everything an immortal man could ever want. Well, except love. But no matter. I am not a one-neck sort of man. Yet the virginal woman across the road sets my senses afire. And she needs my help with her family’s failing winery. My own is quite successful. My honor demands I help this enchanting female, and when I do, my heart begins beating anew. She is my mate. Strangely, my gifts of seduction do not seem to work on her. Perhaps I need to fit in with modern dating customs to win this modern woman. And then there’s the small matter that she doesn’t believe in vampires. There is no fighting destiny, sweet Stella. You will be mine.

BUY LINKS

AMAZON US | AMAZON UK | AMAZON CA | AMAZON AU KOBO | B&N | APPLE BOOKS

READ CHAPTER 1

About Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

MIMI JEAN PAMFILOFF is a New York Times bestselling author who’s sold over one million books around the world. Although she obtained her MBA and worked for more than fifteen years in the corporate world, she believes that it’s never too late to come out of the romance closet and follow your dreams.

Mimi lives with her Latin lover hubby, two pirates-in-training (their boys), and their three spunky dragons (really, just very tiny dogs with big attitudes) Snowy, Mini, and Mack, in the vampire-unfriendly state of Arizona.

She hopes to make you laugh when you need it most and continues to pray daily that leather pants will make a big comeback for men.

Sign up for Mimi's Newsletter and get a FREE book!

https://bit.ly/35BixME

For more fun stuff check out Mimi’s website

www.mimijean.net

twitter.com/MimiJeanRomance

pinterest.com/mimijeanromance

instagram.com/mimijeanpamfiloff

facebook.com/MimiJeanPamfiloff

About Kylie Gilmore

Kylie Gilmore is the USA Today bestselling author of the Rourkes series, the Happy Endings Book Club series, the Clover Park series, and the Clover Park STUDS series. She writes humorous romance that makes you laugh, cry, and reach for a cold glass of water.

Kylie lives in New York with her family, two cats, and a nutso dog. When she’s not writing, reading hot romance, or dutifully taking notes at writing conferences, you can find her flexing her muscles all the way to the high cabinet for her secret chocolate stash.

Sign up for Kylie’s Newsletter and get a FREE book! kyliegilmore.com/newsletter

For more fun stuff check out Kylie’s website

https://www.kyliegilmore.com

https://www.bookbub.com/authors/kylie-gilmore facebook.com/KylieGilmoreToo instagram.com/kyliegilmore

Tuesday, June 18, 2019

The Librarian's Vampire Assistant, Book #3 by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff



Title: The Librarian's Vampire Assistant, Book Three
Series: The Librarian's Vampire Assistant
Author: Mimi Jean Pamfiloff
Genre: Humorous Paranormal Mystery
with Romantic Elements
Release Date: June 18, 2019

From New York Times Bestseller Mimi Jean Pamfiloff comes an uncomfortably hilarious Mystery with a heaping help of sexual frustration, THE LIBRARIAN’S VAMPIRE ASSISTANT, Book Three. (Yep! It’s a STAND-ALONE. But why not read them all because…fun!)

FALLING IN LOVE WITH A LIBRARIAN JUST CAN’T GET MORE AWKWARD…

Michael Vanderhorst is not your usual vampire. For starters, he works in a library, is in love with Miriam, his hot nerdy human boss who has no clue what he is, and he looks like a college student.
In reality, Michael is an ancient deadly vampire, an ex-assassin, and is currently the de facto king of his kind ever since their ruling party disappeared. To where? He doesn’t know, but if he wants his life back, he’ll have to find out. (Mystery!) Especially because a civil war is brewing, and being king makes his librarian a mark for his enemies. She is, after all, his biggest weakness.

With a global uprising about to explode, Michael must give her the protection of his army. Only one problem: She must become his queen first. But every attempt he makes to tell her the truth is met with extreme hostility. “Vampires aren’t real. That’s crazy talk, Michael!” Clearly, the topic frightens her.

With time running out and her life on the line, Michael is left with one option: Marry her. Without her knowing.

Can he pull it off? And what will happen when the fight comes to their door?


Purchase Links

AMAZON US / UK / CA / AU




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Author Bio

MIMI JEAN PAMFILOFF is a New York Times bestselling author who’s sold over one million books around the world. Although she obtained her MBA and worked for more than fifteen years in the corporate world, she believes that it’s never too late to come out of the romance closet and follow your dreams.

Mimi lives with her Latin lover hubby, two pirates-in-training (their boys), and their three spunky dragons (really, just very tiny dogs with big attitudes) Snowy, Mini, and Mack, in the vampire-unfriendly state of Arizona.

She hopes to make you laugh when you need it most and continues to pray daily that leather pants will make a big comeback for men.


Author Links

WEBSITE     FACEBOOK     INSTAGRAM     TWITTER



Friday, December 9, 2016

GOD OF WINE by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff: Giveaway

The God of Wine is lookin’ for love. 
And he has absolutely no clue what he’s doing. 

GOD OF WINE
Immortal Matchmakers, Inc #3
Mimi Jean Pamfiloff
Released Nov 25th, 2016

From New York Times Bestseller Mimi Jean Pamfiloff…
Book #3 of the Immortal Matchmakers Inc. Series. (Standalone)

CAN ROCK-HARD ABS SAVE THE WORLD? HE SURE THINKS SO

Acan, the God of Wine and Intoxication, has been partying for over ten thousand years. And New Year’s Eve, when humans around the world succumb to his naturally occurring spike in powers, is his big night. Only this year, things are bit different.

A plague is sweeping the immortal community, and he’s turning downright evil. All those New Year’s bashes will turn into bloodbaths if he doesn’t stop it. Sadly, the only known cure is finding a mate, and he is a giant, rude, beer-bellied mess. Definitely not husband material.

But can a little gym-time and help from the pros at Immortal Matchmakers, Inc. turn him into a divine sex-machine? Absolutely!

So watch out, ladies! The God of Wine is lookin’ for love. And he has absolutely no clue what he’s doing.



BUY NOW
AMAZON | B & NITUNES | KOBO



Excerpt



Forgetty picked up her cell and began dialing.
“Who are you calling now?” he asked.
“Jill, how the heck are you?” Forgetty said with a bland tone, speaking to his assistant. “We’ve got a situation.” Forgetty listened for a moment. “Nope, Belch did not superglue himself to the Empire State Building again.” She listened and then laughed. “Ouch. Yeah. I forgot about that rope burn accident. But his junk appears to be intact and enjoying its usual fresh air.”
Belch grumbled at Forgetty, knowing that she and Jill were discussing the time Cimil dared him to walk a tightrope over the Grand Canyon. Blindfolded. A very bad choice because when he slipped, he hadn’t been wearing any clothes and…well, his balls took the first hit. He then fell to his death. Luckily, however, when a deity’s body was destroyed, they were sent back into the cosmos, where they could return to the realm of the gods—if they weren’t currently banned—or return to the human realm with a new body. The whole process usually took a few days since the gods depended on sacred portals (aka cenotes, aka underground springs) in the Mexican jungle to rebuild them one molecule at a time—very low-tech, but tried and true. Still, ruining one’s human shell hurt like a sonofabitch.
Forgetty continued her conversation with Jill over the phone. “Sadly, this is a serious matter. Belch has got to find his forever someone or he’ll turn evil and be locked up. I’m putting you in charge of keeping him sober.” A moment passed. “Hello? Hello?” Forgetty pulled her cell from her ear. “I think she hung up on me.” Forgetty dialed again. “Voicemail! Can you believe her?”
“Was going to fire her anyway. I think I’ve gone weeks without pants.” Oh well. Belch shrugged, feeling his throat dry out and hearing that frosty cold beer calling his name. “How about a beer to celebrate going on the wagon?”
“No!” His sister shook her finger. “And so help me, Belch, if you touch one drop of alcohol, I’m going to—”
Forgetty’s cell beeped, and she took a peek. “Cimil is calling an emergency midnight meeting at her office.”
“Wow. We’ve never had one of those before. Must be important.”
His sister gave him a look.
“What?” he asked defensively.
“You turning into a threat to humanity is important. And we just had an emergency meeting last week.”
We did? “You must’ve made me forget.”
“I’ve never used my powers on you, brother.”
Really? Because he could barely remember the last ten thousand years.
She added, “It’s also against our laws to do so without permission.”
“Then why’s it all a void?”
“Uhhh…because you’ve been wasted for more millennia than I can count. But not like you’ve missed much. A few near misses with the apocalypse. Cimil got married to Roberto, the king of vampires, and had evil half-vampire, half-divine quadruplets, and…a bunch of the other gods got married. Even Votan has a son.”
The God of Death and War is a father? I definitely need to drink a keg. ASAP. “When did this happen?”
“Over the last couple of years.”
Gods. He’d only been sober for two minutes and already realized how much he’d missed.
He looked at his sister and blinked hard. Whoa. That’s what she looks like?
Mistaking his expression for despair, Forgetty reached across the bar and squeezed his hand. “Do not worry, brother, we’ll figure this out.”
“No. It’s not that.”
“Then what?” she asked.
“I always thought you had four eyes and two heads.”
“Ha. Funny.”
“Who said I was joking?” He really wasn’t.
“All right. I need to finish getting everything ready for tonight’s party.”
“Oh, is it ladies’ night? I love ladies’ night.” Just last week, he’d gone home with five women, who pleasured him all night long. That was the nice thing about being a deity—women found them irresistible. Their scent, their hypnotically sexy turquoise eyes, the divine energy wafting from their bodies. In his case, his very large cock was also a nice chick magnet. There was never a shortage of admirers. The only downside was that a god’s energy could kill a person—fry their brain—if the god didn’t make them wear a very special black jade to help absorb their potent powers. He personally had a lovely collection of black jade bracelets back home.
You mean the taco truck?
Oh yeah. Burned down my house. He’d have to go shopping tomorrow for a new house. Maybe I’ll go big this time and buy a bouncy castle.
“Well, I’m ready to help welcome the women.” He rubbed his hands together.
“You’re getting locked in the closet until I leave for the meeting,” said Forgetty.
It was only eleven in the morning. “No. I’m not.” He defiantly took a seat on the stool again.
She reached out and grabbed his arm. “Acan, listen to me. The party is over. And you need to grow up. Your reckless teen years are over.”
Grow up. Grow up? I’m the party god and this party ain’t ever gonna end!
“Are you going to serve me or not?” he growled.
“Not.”
“Fine.” He rose from the barstool, his bare ass making a qwiiip! sound as it peeled off the vinyl cushion. “I’ll see you at Cimil’s office.”
“Hey! Where are you going?” his sister yelled as he headed for the door.
“To do what I do best!”
“Belch! Dammit! No more partying!”

Screw that. If he had to find a mate, he wanted one who knew how to throw down and worshiped at the altar of wine like he did, not some teetotaler. Going to find myself a real woman. Fit for a god.


IMMORTAL MATCHMAKERS, INC. 
(Book One) is FREE!




MIMI JEAN PAMFILOFF is a USA Today and New York Times bestselling romance author. Although she obtained her MBA and worked for more than fifteen years in the corporate world, she believes that it’s never too late to come out of the romance closet and follow your dream. Mimi lives with her Latin Lover hubby, two pirates-in-training (their boys), and the rat terrier duo, Snowflake and Mini Me, in Arizona. She hopes to make you laugh when you need it most and continues to pray daily that leather pants will make a big comeback for men.




a Rafflecopter giveaway





Tuesday, May 24, 2016

TOMMASO by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff Release Day: Giveaway


Huge Giveaway!!  Eight Chances to Win!

TOMMASO
Immortal Matchmakers, Inc #2
Mimi Jean Pamfiloff
Released May 24th, 2016

From New York Times Bestseller Mimi Jean Pamfiloff…


TOMMASO, Book #2, Immortal Matchmakers, Inc. Series (Standalone)

SOMETIMES, HOT MEN CAN BE REAL MONSTERS…

Tommaso Fierro is used to the finer things in life—nice suits, nice car, nice house. Okay, his past isn’t so nice, but that’s in the past. Or at least it was until he blacked out after meeting the woman of his dreams.

Annnd possibly capturing her.
Annnd possibly terrorizing her before she got away.
Annnd discovering that he’s turning into a horrible creature he loathes with all his heart.

Luckily, there’s a cure. Unluckily, it will require him to track this woman down and convince her to give him a second chance. But if he finds her, will she ever believe that he’s really not a monster?




BUY NOW

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CHAPTER ONE

9:42 a.m., Los Angeles
Covered in bright red blood, Tommaso Fierro stumbled from his sleek black Mercedes and staggered across the litter-filled 7-Eleven parking lot, clutching the front of his sticky gray dress shirt.
“Sonofabitch,” he groaned. This can’t be happening. He’d gone through far too much, survived far too much, only to end up like this.
No. No. No. You are not turning evil again.
But then why had his turquoise eyes—the telltale sign of his godsgiven immortality—turned black? Why did his heart feel like it was being prodded with a red-hot poker?
And where the fuck did all this blood come from? It sure as hell wasn’t his.
He looked at his sticky red hands, suddenly seeing images of the dark-haired woman in his head. She was bound and gagged in his closet, screaming at him through a rope knotted between her lips.
Shit. Please don’t tell me I killed her. Because she was the one. Yes, the one. And no, he couldn’t explain why he had no clear memory of what happened, but he did remember the wave of intense desire he’d felt the moment he spotted her leaving the singles mixer last night—Wait. Was it last night? Everything was a blur after that, like watching a violent movie on a dark screen that sporadically flickered.
Godsdammit! Wouldn’t this just be his godsdamned luck? He finally meets the woman of his dreams—his true mate—only to turn evil for no other reason than the Universe had decided to be a huge bitch and mess with everyone.
More blurry images swarmed his mind: the woman screaming and then…images of him letting her go, only to start chasing her, like a cat playing with a mouse it wanted to torment before the kill.
That is very fucked up.
Tommaso suddenly felt like his skull was splitting open. Aaagh… He shoved his fingers into his sticky short hair, pressing the sides of his head. Then his lungs began closing up. I can’t…breathe. He fell to his knees on the hard asphalt. And godsdammit, he had just gotten his awesome pin-striped slacks back from the tailor. Three hundred bucks just for the hem.
A candy apple red Mustang tore into the parking lot, nearly colliding with a parked car before coming to a tire-screeching halt a few feet in front of him. The driver door popped open and out stepped a familiar face: Zac, God of Temptation.
The sound of Zac’s heavy biker boots thumped toward Tommaso as he tried to keep his vision from blacking out.
“Wow,” said Zac in his usual cocky tone while brushing back his mane of shaggy black hair with his usual affected gesture. “You weren’t joking. You really are turning into a Maaskab—not such a great look for you, by the way.”
Maaskab were an ancient sect of powerful, bloodthirsty Mayan priests who excelled in the dark arts. With their blood-caked dreads, soulless pits for eyes, and grime-covered bodies (they believed bathing robbed them of their powers), they looked like death warmed over, reheated in a microwave, and then deep fried in evil waffle batter. And though they were talented at many malevolent things, manipulating dark energy and enslaving others to do their bidding were their claims to fame, something Tommaso knew firsthand. For two loooong fucking years, he’d been pumped full of Maaskab poisons and used to spy on the gods’ army. It was a miracle he’d escaped, but an even bigger miracle the gods had chosen to help him versus ending his life after he’d been discovered.
Only now, he wasn’t so sure that he’d been cured (or what had happened over the last twenty-four hours or why he was in a 7-Eleven parking lot covered in blood with only a vague recollection of taking his newly found mate captive). In any case, Zac had been the first name that came to mind when he’d called for help.
Perhaps not such a wise choice. Zac wasn’t known for being the most compassionate of the gods. Okay. None of the gods were compassionate. Bat-shit crazy, the whole lot of them.
Tommaso looked up at Zac, seven feet of pure conceited asshole in leather pants. And topless?
“Why aren’t you wearing a shirt?” Tommaso grumbled. Proper attire was essential, even when one was in the process of transforming into a monster, as in his case. Didn’t see him ripping off his clothes and acting uncivilized.
“Casual Friday.” Zac shrugged and then bent to help Tommaso to his feet.
Tommaso’s gaze gravitated toward the hazy figure of a petite blonde standing beside the god, wearing only a pair of enormous flowery granny panties and matching brassiere. He recognized her to be Tula, the new assistant at Immortal Matchmakers, Inc., which was run by Zac and Zac’s insane redheaded mess of a sister, Cimil—the Goddess of the Underworld.
“What’s with Tula’s outfit?” Tommaso mumbled, wondering if he wasn’t dreaming.
“Casual Friday,” Zac answered for Tula. “Did I not just explain that?”
“Okay, you two,” said Tula, in a sugary tone, “let’s get out of here before the police show and suck up another day with all their questions. I’m still trying to get them not to press charges for the singles mixer.”
Tommaso hadn’t stayed for more than a minute at that party, but he could only imagine the long list of reasons the police had been called. Things tended to end up decimated or lit on fire when a group of immortals got in a room and started drinking. Belch, aka the God of Wine and Intoxication, for example, held the all-time record for destroying the most hotels. Five hundred and twenty. All burnt to the ground. All by accident.
Tommaso winced, the pain of whatever searing through his veins becoming almost unbearable. “Take me home.”
“Who said anything about home, compadre?” Zac said. “You’re not safe to roam freely with the masses.”
Zac looked at Miss Flower-Power Panties and instructed her to retrieve Tommaso’s keys from his pocket.
“But Zac,” Tula protested, “a man’s pocket is his private space. Next to his privates.”
She was standing in the middle of a public parking lot in broad daylight, wearing only her undergarments—albeit, very unsexy undergarments, but undergarments nonetheless—and she was concerned about improper behavior?
“My keys are in the ignition,” Tommaso groaned, the splitting pain in his head and heart only worsening. “And I’m sorry about all the blood in the car.” Sorrier than anyone could ever know. Please don’t let it be my mate’s. Please.
Zac bent his head and gave Tommaso a whiff. “Hate to break it to you, evil buddy, but if what’s in your car is the same stuff that’s on your shirt, that’s not blood. Cherry Slurpee is my guess.”
Really? Tommaso looked down at his sticky gray shirt. “I killed a woman and went to get a Slurpee? I am a monster.”
“Do you specifically remember killing someone?” Zac asked.
“No, but—”
Sirens began wailing off in the distance.
“Time to go, big man. Let’s get you to a secure location. We’ll sort it all out later.” Zac turned toward Tula, who was already getting into Tommaso’s Mercedes. “I’ll meet you back at the office.”
“Yes, sir,” she replied.
“And, woman?” Zac said, his deep voice filled with agitation.
“Yes?” she answered.
“The next time I see you, you’d better be wearing proper office apparel. We hold to certain standards at Immortal Matchmakers, Inc. Even on casual Friday.”
“For the last time, I am not going to work naked, Zac!” She slammed the driver-side door shut and zoomed out of the parking lot.
“Humans,” Zac grumbled. “So damned uppity! You know what I mean?” Zac looked at Tommaso, fishing for validation.
Tommaso frowned up at the deity, whose face was becoming a mishmash of swirls. I’m losing my mind. “Sure. Yeah. Wearing clothes is so last year.”
“I know, right?” Zac grabbed Tommaso’s arm to steady him as he began falling sideways. “All right, let’s get you off to jail.”
“You’re taking me to jail?” Tommaso stumbled along toward the Mustang, without a hope or a prayer of getting free. Not in my condition.
“Well, I’m really taking you to Cimil’s basement until we can get you moved to our real prison. But where else would I take an evil, bloodthirsty Maaskab to rot for eternity?”
Rot? Eternity? Oh hell. Maybe Zac was right; that was where he needed to go. Because if Tommaso had harmed a hair on his mate’s head, he deserved to putrefy in a dark dungeon for all time.
But what if she’s not dead? He had seen an image of him untying her and of her running away. Gods be damned. I have to find out what I did… He needed to know she was all right. Okay, and his heart demanded to see her again and beg her forgiveness.
But who was she? He’d only seen her for a moment in passing as she left the mixer—that part was clear. As for how would he go looking for her when he could barely see straight? Not to mention you’re going off to immortal jail.
There was only one person he could turn to.
Gods help me…






MIMI JEAN PAMFILOFF is a USA Today and New York Times bestselling romance author. Although she obtained her MBA and worked for more than fifteen years in the corporate world, she believes that it’s never too late to come out of the romance closet and follow your dream. Mimi lives with her Latin Lover hubby, two pirates-in-training (their boys), and the rat terrier duo, Snowflake and Mini Me, in Arizona. She hopes to make you laugh when you need it most and continues to pray daily that leather pants will make a big comeback for men.




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